i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
wow bdsm is so cute
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
