my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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