He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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