no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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