We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
