is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
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the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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