shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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