i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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