how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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