Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
