I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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