Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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