I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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