Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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