You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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