I got chris browned last night
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize