were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize