You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
