hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think I died a long time ago.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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