sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
