i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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