Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
