Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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