when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
