He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
