You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
