It's just like the Real World with babies
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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