he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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