k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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