u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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