but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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