wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
