I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
