I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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