The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
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I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
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The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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