Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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