So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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