I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
