Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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