So drunk its hurt
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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