Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
