I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
