You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
