We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
