My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
