I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
