Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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