soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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