i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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