I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
