a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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