it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
