what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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