Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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