I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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