she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
