....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
