wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
MIDGETS
????
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
